1. Don’t “Should” all over them 
   When you want to say, “They should have…” question how clearly you have communicated what they should do.
2. When we talk, “I will… and you will…” 
   Setting this simple agenda can clarify miscommunication, set expectations, and save a whole lot of time and frustration in conversations.
3. Address the elephants
   Address those issues that fill the room with tension.
4. Use the Opportunity SpaceTM
   In that moment between when someone does or says something and you respond, ask yourself what you really want to accomplish, where they are coming from and how you are making them feel – before you respond.
5. Ask clarifying questions
   Get them to talk.  They think, engage and learn best when they talk, not when you do.
6. There is always a good and valid reason
   For everything someone does and says – even if the resulting behavior is inappropriate.
7. Listen with genuine interest
   To hear what is important to them, what they expect, and how they are thinking – all to be able to respond in a way that drives results.
8. Take responsibility for your impact
   You can’t change how they react, but you can change how you approach them.
9. Tell the truth, tactfully, with specifics
   Pinpoint the specific behaviors you wish someone who ‘lacks initiative’ to change.
10. What will I and they do differently?
    Doing something small, but different, is what makes change happen, not repeating yourself, and ‘trying harder’.

Succeed by working to determine HOW you can address your biggest challenges, not IF you can overcome those obstacles.