Effective Meetings

Best Meetings – Small Scope, Big Expectations!

10 Apr
by Bridget DiCello

Have you ever been to or led a meeting that ran really long in an effort to make it through the whole agenda?  Or one that ended on time but most agenda items, including the ones you were interested in, were never addressed?

Every time you have several people in a room, you have multiple priorities, opinions, preferences and styles which will ensure that nothing will get done as quickly as you might be able to do alone.  However, the richness of those dynamics is worth the tradeoff, but your expectations must be realistic.

First, you must expect people to want to share their opinions and concerns, and time must be built into the agenda for that to happen.  If they are expected to simply sit and listen, then that must be communicated ahead of time to avoid frustrations.  If you’d like to guide their participation, add specific bullet points to the agenda to do so.

Then, you must define the scope of the meeting to be small enough to realistically be completed.  People like to walk out of a meeting feeling successful.  If your expectation of what you can complete in 45 minutes is always too high, and nothing ever seems to get resolved, your participants will get frustrated and productivity will decrease further.

Consider what you expect to accomplish; then break it into parts.  You wish to discuss Project A.  Project A has many parts.  Maybe the scope of the first meeting is to identify the main parts of the project, the key activities, define the milestones and the responsible people.  The responsible people could get together at a future meeting to discuss their individual accountabilities and timeframes.  Keep the scope manageable within in your meeting timeframe.

Small scope does not mean small expectations.  When you discuss Project A, your expectation may be that it is approached from several new directions, everyone contributes to identifying key activities, each person excitedly accepts a key role and milestones are clearly defined – which is a challenge in many companies.

In order to realize those expectations, they must be communicated prior to the meeting in a written agenda, and possibly an invitation phone call; must be reiterated in the agenda and at the start of the meeting, and revisited throughout the meeting as they are accomplished.

A small scope in no way means that very little will be accomplished.  It simply means that you will do an amazing job of discussing, brainstorming and working on results relating to a small piece of a larger puzzle.

If your meetings appear unproductive, remember Small Scope, BIG Expectations!

When the Conversation is Not over…

16 Mar
by Bridget DiCello

Hey!  Has anyone ever wrapped up a conversation you were not done having?  Have you felt like you were making progress in a discussion only to have the person to whom you were speaking decide the results were good enough and leave?

Results.  A good conversation has great results.  However, you cannot stay in a conversation forever, waiting for those great results to happen.  People wear out.  Some people will talk forever and never get to a solution.  Others will talk for a minute or two and be done discussing a situation.

Personalities.  Depending on which of those descriptions more accurately represents you, you might find yourself either ending a conversation when the person with whom you are speaking is not done, or needing a longer conversation than the other person is willing to tolerate.

If either person in a conversation is not done, that need must be identified and acted upon in order to bring about the long term results that you want.

What to do?

It’s okay to wrap up the conversation if time is up, either person needs to go, or one person is done.

It’s not okay to ignore someone’s need to continue the conversation at a later time.

It is a good idea to take a break if one person needs it, and acknowledge you are doing so in order to ensure productive use of everyone’s time.

It is not a good idea to leave without some type of summary.

It is a good idea to determine next steps for each meeting participant.

First, ensure you start the conversation with a clear goal in mind.  That goal can be referenced to keep the conversation on track, identify next steps, and if needed, determine the need, and the agenda, for a follow up meeting.

Then, when there is either 10% of the meeting left or when one person gets fidgety, start to summarize what has been accomplished, identify any unmet needs and schedule a follow up meeting if needed at a future date.  The steps each person will take before the next meeting, and the agenda for the follow up meeting should both be clearly identified, committed to and agreed upon.

Simply escaping a conversation does not mean it has finished, and could cost you a lot more time in the long run.

Nonverbal Communication – Myth Debunked

27 Feb
by Bridget DiCello

There are a lot of messages that a person communicates besides with the words that they say.  If you pay attention, their body language can be a significant source of information.

However, if you’d really like to have the master list of what all the possible nonverbal body languages signs (eye contact, crossed arms, slouching, etc.) may mean, I’m afraid you’re out of luck.  Most “answers” and generalizations are just not true.

People act differently and communicate differently based on a lot of things, not only what they are feeling at the moment.  Not that there is not good information in those nonverbal signals, there is just not one list of the “right” answers that apply to every person in every situation.  Here’s a few examples:

  • Lack of eye contact means they are lying.  Well, the amount and nature of eye contact can be telling, but the exact moment it breaks may not be significant.
  • Folding arms means defensiveness.  Maybe. Or maybe they are getting comfortable, or thinking, or relaxed.  I’ve personally seen them all, and done them all.
  • Tone of voice is not the same for everyone.  Some people use tone to their advantage.  Others purposely avoid changes in tone and pitch. Others have their natural tone that follows them everywhere.
  • Squaring up to you.  Might mean they are becoming aggressive or simply interested.
  • Feet/shoulders away from you.  They could be getting comfortable or disinterested.
  • Nodding.  I’ve always said that when the employee nods, it means nothing.  They are probably just trying to get you to stop talking because you believe they agree.  They may want you to stop talking because they are confused, bored, uninterested, or just have other priorities at the moment.  A nog can also indicate agreement, politeness, “Go away!”, or “I get it!”
  • Hands closed.  They could be withholding information or maybe they just naturally sit that way.
  • Leaning forward could mean aggressiveness or disinterest.
  • Leaning back could mean they are thinking or they are disengaged.

Keep in mind that you can think about four times faster than someone naturally speaks.  That is why it is so hard to listen.  Your brain has so much excess capacity.  Therefore, when you speaking to someone, what they do nonverbally may or may not be directly related to the conversation.

What can nonverbal communication tell you?  Most importantly, nonverbal communication patterns must be learned.

What are the common patterns for the people with whom you are communicating?  What makes them change?  How do they hold themselves most of the time?  How do they feel most of the time?

  • Are they often nervous and defensive?  Then a change in body language may mean you are relieving their stress and opening up dialog.  That’s a good thing.
  • If they are often participative and productive, a change in body language may mean you have said or done something that has closed the conversation and lost their buy-in.  That needs to be addressed.

Determine what triggers them to change tone, posture, eye contact and movements and decide if that change is a good thing.  Then, you can adjust your communication in the moment based on their body language and achieve your desired results from the conversation.

And, by the way, words are important too, so brush up on your listening skills, and spend more than 25% of your energy listening to the words in order to gain insight on the entire communication message that the other person is saying!

The Coaching Conversation

14 Sep
by Bridget DiCello

Coaching is having a series of conversations with an individual in order to help them access their hidden potential to achieve greater levels of success.

-          Bridget M. DiCello

It is essential that you have both “Conversations on the Go” as well as “Undivided Attention Meetings.”  When you see acceptable or unacceptable behaviors, sometimes you need to address them immediately for greatest impact.  Other times you need to get both the employee and yourself focused on their improvement in a planned meeting where you have each other’s undivided attention.  In which meeting you bring up an issue depends on the urgency of the needed change in behavior.  If you wait as an unacceptable behavior continues, your frustration increases as does the employee’s resistance to change – which makes the conversation more difficult when it does occur.

Conversations on the Go:

1.  You bring up the unacceptable behavior and get them talking.
“I’m concerned about… because…  What Happened?”

2.  Then you talk.  Explain current unacceptable behaviors describing them specifically.  “Your bad attitude” and “your lack of initiative” are not specific behaviors.

3.  Get commitment to precise, doable action from the employee.

4.  Determine a follow up date – it may be your monthly meeting with them.

Undivided Attention Meetings – Monthly meeting where each of your direct reports prepares for and attends a meeting with you.

This is not about how you can help them or what they think you or the company could do differently.  This is about them reporting on their progress and challenges.

According to set agenda both you and they have prior to the meeting:

1.   They report their successes first – according to goals you have set

2.  They report on set metrics, projects, goals, status

3.  They identify the areas where they have fallen short and what they will do differently.

4.  You compliment them on successes you’ve seen

5.  You comment on their performance that can be improved. (using specific examples of unacceptable and acceptable behaviors.)

6.  Get commitment to precise, do-able and measurable action.  Help them come up with action items and strategies.  This is not easy and may take time.  Dig in and really find a do-able action.  Use Clarifying Questions like, “Can you give me an example?” and “Can you be more specific?” and “What have you tried in the past?”  Watch for Smokescreens and Tangents. 

7.  Determine a follow-up date and follow-up.

The only way you can help your team to really access their potential and therefore move your team to a higher level of performance is if you coach them.  Even the best employees need your coaching.  Michael Jordan had a coach who pushed him to excel!

 

Time Consuming Conversations – Time Wasters or Absolute Best Use of Your Time?

21 Jun
by Bridget DiCello

One of the biggest time wasters in your business day is time spent talking with other people!

AND

One of the absolute best uses of your work time is productive conversations with people important to your success!

Where is the difference?  Working productively with the right group of people is the key to multiplying success.  However, people are social creatures, who often fear something new, who wish to preserve their self-image and self-confidence, and don’t always get to the point in a conversation.  Therefore, if you wish for your ‘people time’ to be productive, it must be done purposefully.

Schedule appointments to talk.  If you plan to meet with another person and have a conversation, do it purposefully.  If you just ‘stop by’ their office or give them a call without a plan, you may end up wasting both of your time.  And they may do the same with you.

Set expectations ahead of time.  If you need to talk to them, plan a time and day and have an “agenda.”  Set a time and day on your calendars, even 15 minutes from now, to give each person time to “have their first reaction” and to prepare for the meeting.  Have the conversation ahead of time:  “When we speak, I will… and you will.. in order to accomplish [goal, task or decision].”  This works both up and down the chain of command.

For example, “I’d like to talk to you about the production logs.  How about Tuesday at 1pm for 30 minutes?  Before then, I will review the log for my areas of concern.  And you could review the log compared to last month’s as well as looking for overall opportunities for improvement.  When we sit down, we’ll go though the last two months, each sharing our observations.  Does that work for you?”  Make sure you get their commitment to the agenda you suggested.  If they don’t agree, edit or change it so that you can both prepare appropriately and not end up arguing about the agenda during the meeting.

If someone comes to you and wants to talk right then, tell them you are right in the middle of something, would like to be able to give them your full concentration and are wondering if you could come see them in 20 minutes.  Then, ascertain from them what it is they need from you when you come see them.  This asks them to think through the results they desire (which they may really not have done yet), and allows you to prepare as well, saving you both time and potential frustration.

Get very good at asking questions.   In these situations, you want to remain in control, specifically of making sure something productive comes out of the conversation.  Gladly take that responsibility.  In order to do that you need to ask questions from the standpoint of genuine curiosity to see where they are coming from and how that relates to what you are trying to accomplish.  With the information you gather, you can then notice excuses, frustrations in the form of roadblocks, and cries for attention that can get in the way of productive discussion.

When you talk, you share information.  You rarely can change anyone’s mind by talking.  By asking curious questions, you get the other person talking.  When they talk, you hear how they are really thinking.  When they talk, you can prompt them to consider your point of view.  Help them to get to a conclusion, considering what you value.  When they talk is when they think through things and may change their mind as a result.

It’s up to you to work to understand the other person.  The difficulty with having a conversation is that it is with a person – who has their own feelings, experiences, biases, expectations, etc.  The first thing they say is rarely the whole picture – as it is for you.  Ask your questions.  Give them time.

Schedule a follow up conversation if important to them or to you.  Set a time and date and the agenda for that conversation as well.

AGHHHH! Meetings!

09 Mar
by Bridget DiCello

“A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.”                                           – Gourd’s Axiom

Ever been to an unproductive meeting? Ever been to a meeting that went too long? Does the word “Meeting” make your skin crawl?

Here’s how to make your meetings more productive:

  1. Create an agenda. Communicate clearly what you hope to accomplish and what will happen at the meeting – make sure you know this before you call the meeting.  If you don’t have clarity, you probably don’t need to meet at this point.  Many meetings are called to address huge problems, but you have to climb that mountain one step at a time.  If your agenda will take six hours, decide on the first step or milestone and cover that in the first meeting.
  2. Consider who to invite. There may be reasons why you need to include certain people due to office politics, but the less the better.  People with a reason and a role make the best participants.
  3. Circulate the agenda. Indicate who is expected to participate and where. Expect preparation on the part of the attendees. Instead of having an agenda item like “Sales Performance”, consider having each person prepare to present their relevant numbers, new initiatives, progress, one challenge, etc. Have them come prepared to report – indicate their participation requirements on the agenda.  If you don’t have the authority to require their participation, have someone with the authority to ‘reply all’ voicing their agreement with the expectation that everyone come prepared.
  4. Start on time. End on time. Prohibit interruptions. Tell them you will start and end on time and stay true to your word.  Communicate that everyone will be expected to stay during the meeting – leaving even for a 3 minute phone call may require you cover material again when they return.  People will appreciate this stringency because their time will be well spent.
  5. Stay on agenda. Set time limits for each item if you need to.
  6. Get the results you said you would. If your plan was to come up with new strategies to address slumping sales, then make sure before everyone leaves strategies have been generated, responsibilities and deadlines have been assigned, accountability measures have been put into action and follow up timeframes have been clearly identified.  Have someone record and email these items.
  7. Address the elephants in the room. If someone is taking the meeting off track, obviously negative or thwarting progress with their participation, address it – everyone will appreciate you for it.  “Mark, I’m hearing that you have some serious concerns about our ability to increase sales.  We are addressing today how we will do that, not if we will.  It’s important we get all our ideas out on the table before we decide that they will not work.  Their viability could be covered in a future meeting.  I’d be happy to get with you after this meeting to address your concerns before that future conversation.  Does that work for you?”

Meetings do not run themselves and getting a group of great people in a room never guarantees that anything will get done, especially what you want to get done. Take charge-only call a meeting if you need one and can adhere to the above guidelines.

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